My good people … I missed my introduction R.A.S.H. May Edition!  But please, please, hear it now.  For I would lay rest to the grace in my tongue and speak plainly…” [apologies to A Knight’s Tale]

R.A.S.H.It seems that May has slipped into June and I’m just getting around to the May edition of R.A.S.H. Some things are Better Late Than Never™ and I hope that you agree that R.A.S.H. is one of them.  “And so, without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give you …”

Doctor! Doctor!

Paddy: This is so weird.  I keep seeing spots.
Jack: Have you seen the doctor?
Paddy: No, just spots.

My friend Gary was in a terrible accident.  The doctors needed to remove his left leg and arm.  Also, his left ear and eye.  Even his left you-know-what needed to be removed.  He’s all right now.

Jack: Doctor, after this surgery will I be able to play the violin?
Doctor:Sure, Jack. It’s a simple operation.
Jack: That’s great! I’ve always wanted to play the violin.

Acupuncture is a jab well done (we hope 8=)

Doctor:I’m afraid the news is bad, Paddy. You’ve got 6 months.
Paddy: That can’t be true doctor. I want a second opinion.
Doctor: Okay. You’re pretty ugly too.

Jack and Paddy took their dog to the vet.  “Hey Doc, our dog’s teeth are looking pretty gross.  What can we do for him?” asked Paddy.
“Let’s have a look,” said the vet. He picked up the dog and looked in his mouth. “Hmm. I think I’ll have to put him down.”
“What?” cried Jack. “Why do you need to put him down?”
“He’s too heavy for me to hold,” answered the vet.

I Don’t Mind, ‘Cause I’ve Lost Mine

I don’t suffer from insanity.  I enjoy every minute of it.

Out of my mind.  Back in 5 minutes.

I only smile because I have no clue about what’s really going on.

I’m not a paranoid schizophrenic — my other personality really is out to get me.

Only left handed people are truly in their right mind.

If someone with a split personality is threatening suicide is it considered a hostage situation?

“I like having a conversation with myself, but I hate it when I …”
“… finish my own sentences.”
“Stop that!”

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.


Make sure you check out the older editions too!

March 2009

April 2009