LoneWolf says "Hi!"It’s really hard to choose favourites amongst the posts I’ve put here at Cookie Crumbles.  I love them all.  But here are 5 older ones that I really enjoyed putting together.  I hope that you enjoy them too.



Jack and Paddy were on a mission.  “It’s time we learned how to use the canoe,” Jack said.

“I think you’re right,” replied Paddy.  “It’s been 2 years since we bought the darn thing.”

So, the grabbed the paddles, life jackets and the canoe.  The marched it all down to the town dock and set everything up.  Paddy climbed in, then Jack.  They began to paddle.

“I don’t think this is working,” said Paddy.

“You’re right,” said Jack.  “We aren’t going anywhere.  I wonder what we’re doing wrong?”

After a moment of thinking Paddy said “Maybe we’re not supposed to sit facing each other!”

So, after rearranging themselves in the canoe the started to paddle again.  Once again, there was no movement of the canoe.

“This is weird,” said Paddy.

“Yeah,” said Jack.  “Maybe we should both be facing in the same direction.”

So Paddy turned around to face the same direction as Jack.  More paddling.  Still no movement.

“Canoeing is just plain dumb!” exclaimed Paddy.  “I don’t know why anyone thinks this is fun.”

As they were wondering what to do next, Farmer Bill wandered by.

“Howdy fellas,” he said.  “Don’t you fellas realize that you’re not supposed to sit in a canoe until it’s in the water?”

More Funny Stories

Farmer Bill

Farmer Bill Meets a Big City Lawyer

Jack and Paddy O’Lantern

Burial at Sea

The Landing

It’s a Donkey — It’s a Mule

Race to the Outhouse


On my recent Florida vacation, I managed to wrangle a meeting with some high ranking officials at Disney World.  They wanted me to wait until today to release this news as they are working furiously with Microsoft to arrange a strategic merger.

Disney has been dominant in the media for family entertainment for decades.  They also have the theme park market sewn up quite nicely and have recently moved into the cruise and adventure vacation markets.

One are which they have been eying is the online, social media market.  After exploring possibilities with Google, Facebook and Twitter, executives approached Microsoft to see what they could work out together.

Needless to say, Microsoft was very excited at the prospect of a little Disney Magic to help them move Bing to the top of the search engine world.  So talks began in earnest in December of last year.

What is expected to be announced today is a joint venture tentatively called MicroDisney.  This will result in the formation of a social media site based upon the Disney experience but powered by Microsoft.  It will be closely tied to Bing for search.

MicroDisney will also be leveraging the Disney properties to help generate ad income with electronic advertising being added to all the Disney theme parks, resorts and vacation properties (including the cruise lines).

“This is just the beginning,” my contact told me.  “We’re looking at adding live ads to Disney media products as well.  We’ve incorporated Microsoft adCenter into the Blu Ray and DVD’s that are coming on the market.  And there is an interactive component to it that will allow them to chat with other viewers watching the movie and send messages to various social media sites right from their DVD players.  With Microsoft’s help, we’ve found a way to use JScript to push adCenter content onto existing DVD’s that people have in their homes.”

Unfortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to add this functionality to VHS tapes, but they say they have some promising technological advances that may help with that.

All I can say to that is “I Slap Floor”.


Recycled ElectronsHave you ever wanted to create a warning label that was worded just the way you want?  Well, now there is a web site that allows you to do just that.  Warning Label Generator to the rescue!

All you need to do is select the warning label, icon and message.  Then press a button.  “Presto Chango!”  Out comes your warning label ready to save to your hard drive.

You will need to right click on the image that is generated and save the file to your hard drive (usually “Save Image As” or something similar — depending on which browser you’re using).

Make sure that you give a descriptive name because each label is named warninglabel.jpg by default.

You can do lots of fun and silly stuff with this — see the ones that I came up with!

Please Curb Your Giant Lizzard

You can even use it to create actual warning labels if you really need to get serious –but who wants to get serious?
Employees Must Wash Hands After Reading Cookie Crumbles 8=)Let’s see what you can come up with!  Create some labels and put them on your web site, or Flickr or where ever you share photos.  Then give us the link in the comments.  Let’s get creative!

Muskoka Outdoors LogoLoneWolf isn’t much a hunter or fisherman.  Not that I’m against those things.  I’d just rather spend his time outdoors with a golf club in my hands or wielding a chainsaw (to cut firewood, honest).

But my good buddy Bill over at Muskoka Outdoors is an avid outdoorsman who loves both hunting and fishing more than golf (go figure, he’s a Mac guy too).

He’s got some wonderful childhood stories scattered among his blog posts.  I thought you might enjoy them.  Check them out:

These stories are from his Reloaded series — older posts that he brings forward for new readers to enjoy.


MoleculeDr. Bob was a brilliant geneticist.  He had studied genetics and biology at the finest universities in the world.  He had done research into the very structure of life.  Finally, he believed, he had arrived at the secrets of creating life.

He challenged God, calling out “I can now make life, just like you!  Look how great I am!”

To his surprise, God responded,  “Can you really?”

Recovering from his shock at getting a response from God himself, Dr. Bob replied,  “Of course I can,” he replied.  “I am just like you!  Watch.”

“What do you mean?” God asked him.

“Well, in Genesis it says that you took dust and made a man.  I’m going to do the same.”

“Okay,” replied God.  “I’m watching.”

Dr. Bob gathered up some materials into test tubes to begin his procedure.

“What are you doing?” God asked.

“Well, I’m doing what you did — I’m gathering dust,” Dr. Bob replied.

“No,” said God.  “That’s cheating.  You’ve got to make your own dust.”

Molecule image by svilen001 at stock.xchng.

Paddy and Jack were living their dream — front row seats at the ACC for the ultimate Leafs vs Habs.  It couldn’t be any sweeter!

Now Paddy is a Habs fan, while Jack loves the Leafs.  Even twin brothers have to disagree sometimes!  And this was a nail-biter.  It had been tough, gritty hockey for 2 1/2 periods and the score was tied at 3-3.

“I think this is the most exciting thing I’ve ever seen!” exclaimed Paddy.

“You’ll get no arguments from me, brother,” Jack replied.  “I just wish I didn’t have to go to the bathroom so bad.”

“I’ve been holding it in for 10 minutes now,” said Paddy.  “I can’t wait anymore.  I hope that there’s nothing exciting until I get back.”

As Paddy headed off to the nearest washroom (walking backwards so he wouldn’t miss anything) Jack called out “Hey!  Why not go for me brother?”

“Okay,” called Paddy.  Just then a 2 minute timeout was called and Paddy raced off.

Two minutes latter he returned.  He looked less anxious but it was obvious that the front of his pants were wet.

“Oh, Paddy!” exclaimed Jack.  “You’ve made a bit of a mess.”

“No, I did fine,” Paddy replied.  “You’re the one that didn’t make it on time.”

[Just then the Leafs scored.]


Home Run!

Posted In: Cartoon by LoneWolf

Home Run

Previous LoneWolf Cartoon


This One’s For the Guys (Sorry Ladies)

Let’s face it — the dating game can be rough.  Thankfully, I haven’t had to worry about it for a long time but I still remember how hard it was to talk to girls, especially the ones that I was attracted to.  One thing that I found really helped was my sense of humour.  I was more comfortable if I could make people laugh and I felt that it broke down barriers.

Make Women Laugh

Make Women Laugh

Make Women Laugh

Recently I came across an e-book that might be useful to some of the guys out there who feel the same kind of pressures I did way back then.  Make Women Laugh by Martin Merrill takes you through the hows and whys of using humour to break the ice with your dream girl.  It also deals with how to use appropriate humour (remember that the ladies don’t always find belching romantic poetry funny).

To top it off, the author is offering 6 bonuses that compliment the e-book.

There is a 60 day moneyback guarantee and the book is sold through Clickbank who ensure that everything is secure and above board.

Well, Maybe Not Just For Guys

While this book is intended to help guys use humour to break through barriers in meeting and wooing ladies, humour can be used creatively in all relationships — family, business, friends …  So this book and the bonuses that Mr. Merrill is offering would be useful to anyone who wants to learn how to use humour more effectively in any relationship.

You may need to take into account the differences between men and women, but the basic principles should apply in almost any situation.


Paddy and Jack were having an argument.  Not a big one, just one of those arguments that brothers might have as they walk along, dragging a new farm animal back to the farm.

Image by Jeff Bucchino, "The Wizard of Draws"

Image by Jeff Bucchino, "The Wizard of Draws"

“It’s a mule,” said Jack.

“No, it’s definitely a donkey,” Paddy replied.



You get the idea.  You see, they had just bought this animal from Farmer Bill down the road, who assumed that two fine, young country boys would know everything they needed to know about farm animals.  So, they really didn’t have a clue.

The argument continued as they approached the gate to their place.  Pastor O’Brien was approaching so Jack decided that they should wait for him to settle the argument.

“Paster,” Jack said as the pastor came near.  “We’d like for you to settle a minor disagreement we’re having.”

“I’d be glad to help,” Pastor O’Brien replied.

“We just got this animal,” Paddy told him, “and I believe it is a donkey.  Jack, here, thinks it’s a mule.  Which of us is correct?”

Now, knowing how Paddy and Jack could be, the pastor didn’t want either one of the boys to feel superior to the other.  The animal was clearly a donkey but Paddy would gloat for days if he turned out to be right.  So Pastor O’Brien spent a moment or two pretending to look the donkey over as he tried to come up with a plan.  Finally he had an idea.

“Hmm,” he said.  “This is a fine animal you’ve got here.  Lads, I do believe that the Bible refers to this animal as an ass.”

“Well, thank you very much Pastor,” Jack replied.  “Now we don’t have to argue any more.  Hey, let’s call him Paddy!”

“No.  We’ll name him after you.”

“I’ll see you on Sunday,” said Pastor O’Brien with a sigh and he continued on his way.

Well, the donkey died the next day.  Pastor O’Brien just happened by again and saw the boys digging a hole to bury him.  He stopped at the gate and hollered to the boys, “Hey, what are you doing?  Are you digging a post hole?”

Jack stopped and hollered back, “Well, according to the Bible this would be …”