Site Migration

Posted In: Site News by LoneWolf

LoneWolf is busy this weekend, migrating blogs and websites to a new server.  Yowza!  Lot’s of fun — not!

Anyway, if you’re reading this then the migration of Cookie Crumbles and the Electronic Fortune Cookie must be complete.  You may see some glitches for the next week or so, but hopefully we’ll have them all ironed out and the fun stuff can continue to roll.

Watch for the 4th LoneWolf Cartoon coming soon!



Posted In: Cartoon by LoneWolf

Ironic, isn’t it.

0003 - Blockhead

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Paddy and Jack O’Lantern have decided to start their own moving company.  They’ve even designed their own line of moving boxes.  They hope you like them.

Paddy and Jack O'Lantern's New Line of Moving Boxes

Paddy and Jack O'Lantern's New Line of Moving Boxes

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Have you ever wondered what the first family trip to the moon would be like?  I did.  In fact, I even made cartoons about it!

The very first family trip to the moon.

The very first family trip to the moon.

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Paddy and Jack were on their very first solo flight.  [We’re not entirely sure who actually gave them their license, but we’re sure that they’ve been fired already.]  They were flying into the small airfield at Pugsleyville.

You know how to land this thing, right?

You know how to land this thing, right?

“This is a lot of fun, Jackie,” Paddy said as they were soaring over the countryside.  “I think I can see Old Man Jackson’s barn down there.”

“I think you’re right,” Jack replied.  They swooped down lower for a closer look.  Sure enough, Old Man Jackson came running out of the barn, waving a shotgun at them.

“Yep, that’s him alright!” Jack said.

The boys laughed as they continued their flight.  Soon Pugsleyville came into view.  They could see the airfield straight ahead.

“Paddy,” said Jack.  “I do believe we’ve got a bit of a problem here.”

“What is it brother?”

“Well, the runway looks a little bit short.”

“All these other planes seem to have landed okay.”

“Yeah, but it still seems shorter than the one back in Dogstown.”

“It does, at that,” Paddy replied.  “Maybe we better work together on this one.”

“Yeah.  I’ll make sure I put her down right at the very beginning of the runway,” said Jack.

“Okay, then I’ll throw the engine into full reverse,” said Paddy.

“And together we’ll both hit the brakes with all we’ve got,” continued Jack.

So they brought the little plane in right at the very edge of the runway, just perfect.  Paddy threw the engine into reverse and they both stomped on the brake pedals.  The engine raced and the propeller nearly came off as it suddenly changed direction.  The wheels screamed and smoked as the brakes locked them up.  Jack and Paddy watched and prayed as the end of the runway loomed quickly closer and closer.

Thankfully, they pulled to a complete stop with the nose gear just kissing the far end of the runway.  With a sigh of relief, they relaxed and looked around.

“Well, ” said Paddy.  “This runway sure is short, but would you get a load of how wide it is!”

Image by maciek80 at stock.xchg

Check out LoneWolf’s first ever YouTube video!

You can check out Say Hi to Chainsaw for the official blog for the video too.


We're in So Much Trouble!

Posted In: Kids by LoneWolf

Bobby and Ralph started down the road to being trouble makers when they were 7 years old.  Being twins, and being boys, they were always finding new and exciting ways to cause havoc for their parents and teachers.  Finally, mom and dad decided that they needed to get some outside help.

A quick call to the pastor got the ball rolling.

“Please, Pastor Tim, can you help us with the boys?” mom asked after explaining what the boys had been getting up to.

“I understand your dilemma,” the pastor said.  “I deal with a lot of young boys that just need a nudge in the right direction.”

The next day, mom brought the boys into the church after school.  The boys sat in the lobby (not very quietly I might add) waiting as mom talked with the pastor for a moment.

“I’d like to deal with the boys individually at first,” said Pastor Tim.  “Then I can talk to them together.  Let’s start with Ralph.”

Mom came out of the office and sent Ralph in to see the pastor.

“Have a seat, Ralph.” said the pastor.

Ralph was a little bit nervous.  He’d never been in to see the pastor before. He quietly sat in the chair in front of the pastor’s desk.

“I know that you and your brother are only trying to have fun, but you need to learn that there are reasons for the rules we have,” said the pastor.  “Do you know where God is?”

Ralph was silent.  He stared at his shoes.

“Son,” said the pastor.  “I asked you a question.  Do you know where God is?”

There was still no answer from Ralph.  He simply fidgeted nervously in his seat.  Pastor Tim wondered why this young boy was being so rude.

“Ralph.  Where is God?” he asked a third time.

Ralph couldn’t take it any longer.  Tears streamed from his eyes as he bolted from the office.

“We’ve gotta make a break for it Bobby!” he screamed as he ran through the lobby.  “God’s missing and they think we did it!”

Thanks to my buddy Neal for reminding me of this wonderful story!

A wealthy man received some bad news from his doctor — he had only 6 months to live.  Returning home, he pleaded with God to allow him more time.  God appeared to him in a vision to allow him to plead his case.

Jim's treasures

Jim's treasures

“Hello Jim,” said God.

“Uhm, hello Father,” Jim replied.  “Are you here to answer my prayer?”

“No Jim,” said God.  “I’ve come to tell you that you are running out of time.”

“Please,” Jim asked again.  “I’ve got so much left that I want to do.”

“I’m sorry.  It is your appointed time.  You need to settle your affairs now.”

“Well, can I ask one favour?”

“What would you like?”

“I know that they say you can’t take it with you, but I would like to bring my wealth with me.”

“It’s not allowed.”

“Not even a bit of it?”

“Well, maybe I can make one exception.  Jim, I will allow you to bring one suitcase with you when you come.”

“Just one?”

“That’s right.  Just one suitcase.  You may fill it with anything you wish.”

“Thank you God!”

And with that, the vision was over.

Jim started to plan.  He figured that the best way of bringing as much with him as possible was to buy gold bricks.  He managed to fit four of them in his suitcase.  Now he was set.

About five months later Jim passed away.  He found himself standing at the Pearly Gates before St. Peter.  His suitcase was in his hand.

“What is that?” asked Peter.  “You aren’t allowed to bring anything with you.”

“God made a special deal with me,” Jim replied.  “He said I could fill one suitcase with anything I wanted.  I filled it with as much riches as I could fit in it.”

Peter looked in his book for a moment.  Then he looked up and said “It appears that you are correct.  It says that you are entitled to one suitcase.”

As the gates swung open Peter looked at Jim and asked, “Do you mind if I see what you’ve brought with you?  I’m very curious to see what could be so special.”

“No problem,” replied Jim.  He set the suitcase on the ground and opened it up.

Peter peered inside with a puzzled look.

After a few seconds he said, “Pavement?  Why would you bring pavement?”


Bernie and George have been best friends since the third grade.  For over seven decades they’ve been there for each other.  High school, the war, weddings, kids — they helped each other through everything that life could throw at them.


George and BernieImage from kalimevole at stock.xchng

Sunday afternoon dinner with the wives has been a tradition since the week after George’s honeymoon.  This week they are at Bernie’s house.  The ladies are in the kitchen for tea and gossip while the boys relax in the living room.

“Took the little woman to a wonderful new Italian place on Thursday,” said Bernie.

“That’s nice,” replied George.  “I’m lookin’ to take Gracie out someplace nice for the anniversary.  Would you recommend it?”

“Oh yeah,” said Bernie.  “This place is classy.  The food is great.  She’ll fall back in love with you.”

“Great.  What’s the name of the place?” asked George.

Bernie thought for a few seconds and said, “Dang this memory of mine — I’m forgetting everything lately.  It’s on the tip of my tongue.  Oh.  What is that flower, you know, the red one?”

“A tulip?”

“No, no.  The love one.  You know, Valentine’s Day?”

“Oh!  A rose.”

“Yeah!  That’s it.”  Bernie turns towards the kitchen and yells, “Rose!  What was the name of that restaurant?”

Image by Jeff Bucchino "The Wizard of Draws"

Image by Jeff Bucchino "The Wizard of Draws"

My youngest cub is 4 years old.  He has a very wonderful sense of humour.

While he is still figuring out how to tell jokes that make sense, he often comes up with brilliant observations of the world around us.

The other morning he crawled into bed with us and was welcomed by my regular morning flatulence.  It was a rather splendid work of art that morning and I remarked that my tuba lessons were really starting to pay off.

His reply was very much to the point.  “Daddy,” he said, “Please don’t play your two butts anymore!”