June
29

Bernie and George have been best friends since the third grade.  For over seven decades they’ve been there for each other.  High school, the war, weddings, kids — they helped each other through everything that life could throw at them.

georgeandbernie

George and BernieImage from kalimevole at stock.xchng

Sunday afternoon dinner with the wives has been a tradition since the week after George’s honeymoon.  This week they are at Bernie’s house.  The ladies are in the kitchen for tea and gossip while the boys relax in the living room.

“Took the little woman to a wonderful new Italian place on Thursday,” said Bernie.

“That’s nice,” replied George.  “I’m lookin’ to take Gracie out someplace nice for the anniversary.  Would you recommend it?”

“Oh yeah,” said Bernie.  “This place is classy.  The food is great.  She’ll fall back in love with you.”

“Great.  What’s the name of the place?” asked George.

Bernie thought for a few seconds and said, “Dang this memory of mine — I’m forgetting everything lately.  It’s on the tip of my tongue.  Oh.  What is that flower, you know, the red one?”

“A tulip?”

“No, no.  The love one.  You know, Valentine’s Day?”

“Oh!  A rose.”

“Yeah!  That’s it.”  Bernie turns towards the kitchen and yells, “Rose!  What was the name of that restaurant?”

April
27

Success

Posted In: Golden Years by LoneWolf

It seems that as we go through life, what we consider success changes (along with lots of other things).  The following life chart describes these phases of human existence.

Age Success is …
2 Remembering everyone’s name
3 Not peeing in your pants
9 Having friends
16 Having your driver’s license
21 Working a part time job
35 Having money
50 Having money
65 Working a part time job
74 Having your driver’s license
81 Having friends
93 Not peeing in your pants
102 Remembering everyone’s name

See more Cookie Crumbles about aging in the Golden Years.

March
11

Missing Cat

Posted In: Golden Years by LoneWolf

Junie and Janice were best friends for over 70 years, so when they had both become widows they decided to move in together.  However, once they were settled in they found that it was still a bit lonesome with just the two of them.  So, they decided to get a cat.

Sir Budswaggle

Sir Budswiggle

“We should give him an interesting name,” said Janice as they were bringing the precious kitten home.

“Yes,” Junie agreed.  “Something with character.”

“And class,” said Janice.

After much thought they came up with a name that they both thought was cute — Sir Budswiggle.

They loved that cat, and he loved them.  They spent many joyful hours together.

Unfortunately, one afternoon the could not find him.  They searched the house.  They searched the yard.  No sign of the beloved cat.

“We’ll have to check the neighbourhood,” Janice said.

So they got a picture of their best friend and headed down the street.  They weren’t sure why everyone they talked to burst out laughing, but they pressed on, going from house to house and asking everyone they met, “Excuse us.  Have you seen our cute little Budswiggle?”

[Note: Sir Budswiggle was eventually found, safe and sound in a tree in the park.]

January
18

Local Heroes Save the Day

Firetruck on the way

Firetruck on the way

A large fire has leveled the SporksChem facility on the outskirts of town. Despite the fact the the plant was completely destroyed in the file, 7 area men have emerged as heroes in saving important documents from the plant.

No one was hurt in the blaze which started in the packaging department around 7:00 p.m. A neighbour saw the flames and called 911.

By the time that the Huntsville Fire Department arrived the building was engulfed in flames and work was underway to contain the blaze and prevent neighbouring buildings from igniting. The president of SporksChem arrived and offered a $50,000 reward to anyone who would be able to retrieve the safe in the main office in the center of the building. “It has all our trade secrets,” he said. “SporksChem will be finished without them.”

However, the blaze was intensifying and despite raising the reward to $100,000 there were no takers. Finally, the chief called in some of the surrounding fire departments to help contain the blaze.

About 8:15 p.m. a wavering siren was heard and the Seguin Township Volunteer Fire Fighter’s aging tanker truck sped to the scene. Without even slowing down, the truck drove right into the middle of the inferno and the 7 elderly volunteers (all of whom are retirees) sprang into action.

Water flew everywhere and the men laboured with an intensity that rivaled the blaze itself as the other fire fighters watched in amazement. Within minutes the fire was out.

Covered with soot and ash, the 7 men strolled out of the now smoldering ruin. It was like the scene from Armageddon. The president of SporksChem rushed to them waving a $200,000 cheque. “You guys were amazing!” he shouted as he hugged each one of them. “You’ve saved this company and all the jobs at this plant. I’ve doubled the reward.”

As the Super Seven reclined on a cool patch of grass reporters converged around them. One thrust a microphone towards Fire Chief John Jacobs and asked, “What are you guys gonna do with that $200,000 reward?”

“Well,” replied Chief Jacobs, “I think the first thing we’re gonna do is get those damn brakes looked at.”


[I received this story in an e-mail and while I have changed it around some, the basic story comes from someone else. Unfortunately, I don’t know who, but thanks to that mysterious whomever!]


See more Cookie Crumbles about aging in the Golden Years.

December
16

Chit Chat

Posted In: Golden Years by LoneWolf
Shady Acres

Buena Vista Acres (Image by bjearwicke at stock.xchng)

Marty, Sam and Bobby were sitting on the front porch at the Buena Vista Acres Retirement Apartments watching the sun set after another wonderful afternoon of golf.

As the sun was sinking Marty was complaining a little about the weather they had experienced during their round of golf.  “It was windy today, wasn’t it fellas?”

Sam thought for a second and then replied, “No, I do believe it’s Thursday.”

“Me too,” said Bobby.  “I could go for a beer.”


See more Cookie Crumbles about aging in the Golden Years.