Bambi and Chrissy were sitting in Bambi’s living room one winter’s evening, planning for their upcoming trip to Florida for March Break.

“It sure will be fun,” said Chrissy.  “I’m looking forward to meeting Tinkerbell.”

“I’m dreaming about seeing Cinderella,” Bambi replied with a dreamy look in her eyes.  “I love her dress.”

As they continued planning Chrissy happened to look out the window and spotted the full moon hanging just over the horizon.  “Look at how beautiful the moon is tonight!”

“Wow!” Bambi exclaimed as she looked up.  “It is so beautiful, the way it sparkles on the snow.  I bet that is just how it looked at the ball!”

“You know, it would be  fun to go to the moon,” said Chrissy.  “Do you think the moon is farther away than Florida?”

“Well, d’uh!” said Bambi.  “Can you even see Florida from here?”

[Disclosure: I used to be blonde before I went gray 8=]

A 9 year old girl has recently joined the ranks of those to reach the top of K2.  While on a family vacation she decided to attempt the trek with her father.

It wasn’t all that big of a deal, the young lady commented. My dad did it several times carrying all of our luggage. And besides, I’ll be 10 in less than a month.

This was not the first family visit to the area. About 5 years ago they were in town for a wedding but they did not attempt the climb as they were in a different hotel. The other hotel didn’t even have stairs, her father commented.

For her next feat of daring the young lady was planning on walking on water at the Rideau Canal. Even my little brother is going to do that one!

We love Ottawa!  (and the Travelodge hotel too — the wave pool and water slide were a big hit).

Local Heroes Save the Day

A large fire has leveled the SporksChem facility on the outskirts of town. Despite the fact the the plant was completely destroyed in the file, 7 area men have emerged as heroes in saving important documents from the plant.

No one was hurt in the blaze which started in the packaging department around 7:00 p.m. A neighbour saw the flames and called 911.

By the time that the Huntsville Fire Department arrived the building was engulfed in flames and work was underway to contain the blaze and prevent neighbouring buildings from igniting. The president of SporksChem arrived and offered a $50,000 reward to anyone who would be able to retrieve the safe in the main office in the center of the building. “It has all our trade secrets,” he said. “SporksChem will be finished without them.”

However, the blaze was intensifying and despite raising the reward to $100,000 there were no takers. Finally, the chief called in some of the surrounding fire departments to help contain the blaze.

About 8:15 p.m. a wavering siren was heard and the Seguin Township Volunteer Fire Fighter’s aging tanker truck sped to the scene. Without even slowing down, the truck drove right into the middle of the inferno and the 7 elderly volunteers (all of whom are retirees) sprang into action.

Water flew everywhere and the men laboured with an intensity that rivaled the blaze itself as the other fire fighters watched in amazement. Within minutes the fire was out.

Covered with soot and ash, the 7 men strolled out of the now smoldering ruin. It was like the scene from Armageddon. The president of SporksChem rushed to them waving a $200,000 cheque. “You guys were amazing!” he shouted as he hugged each one of them. “You’ve saved this company and all the jobs at this plant. I’ve doubled the reward.”

As the Super Seven reclined on a cool patch of grass reporters converged around them. One thrust a microphone towards Fire Chief John Jacobs and asked, “What are you guys gonna do with that $200,000 reward?”

“Well,” replied Chief Jacobs, “I think the first thing we’re gonna do is get those damn brakes looked at.”

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[I received this story in an e-mail and while I have changed it around some, the basic story comes from someone else. Unfortunately, I don’t know who, but thanks to that mysterious whomever!]

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See more Cookie Crumbles about aging in the Golden Years.

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When I was a child my grandfather taught me the following poem. Upon doing some research it appears to be part of a Nat King Cole song called Wild Is Love written by Dorothy Wayne and Ray Rauch. Unfortunately, my Cole CD set doesn’t have this particular song but apparently he recites this poem during the song rather than singing it.

It is rather simple, but it captures quite eloquently the relationship between us and the weather. In fact, I think it is a rather telling description of the human condition.

As a rule, man’s a fool.
When it’s hot he wants it cool.
When it’s cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not.

My friend over at GolfBlogger has found that Calvin and Hobbes have explained the current finacial state of affairs.  How could a ‘man’ and his tiger be so wise?

It seems that Canada has it share of political intrigue and hot potato topics, but this recent parliamentary mash has me wondering ‘Why?’

Stephen Harper and the Conservative minority government have gotten themselves into hot oil.  It seems that the Liberals and NDP have banded together with support from the Bloc Quebecois to bring down the government and form a new coalition.  This Potato Dumpling Gang had a plan to bring a non-confidence vote within a week of the first session of parliament to do this.

In order to stop this, the Conservatives went to see the Governor General and asked for a parlimentary pierogi.  The Right Honourable Michaëlle Jean graciously approved this and we have parliamentary pierogies until January!

Now, I understand that Mr. Harper and the Conservatives have a large support from the west of Canada, but I think that they made a mistake here.  I believe that the Bloc and other Quebecois could have been persuaded to support the current minority government if they had ordered poutine instead.

A young man came home from college for Christmas.  On Christmas morning he unwrapped one very special gift.  On the box was a label that read “A Helpful Guide for the Starving Student”.  When he opened the box there was a Bible inside.  “Very funny,” he said to his parents.”

“It will help you when you are short on money,” his father replied.

“I’m sure it will,” he said, but he didn’t really believe it.

Several weeks later he was running low on funds so he e-mailed home, “Please send me some money.  I’m a bit short this week.”

“Read John 4:34” was the reply.

Frustrated that his parents wouldn’t send him some money, he borrowed some from his roommate.  The next week he had the same problem so he e-mailed them again.

“Read John 6:1 -15” was the reply.

“I guess it’s mac and cheese for supper this week,” he muttered to himself.

Two weeks later he was home for the weekend.

“Why didn’t you send any money when I asked?” he complained to his parents.

“Didn’t you use the Christmas gift we gave you?” asked his mother.

“Yeah,” he lied.  “I read it but it didn’t help.”

“Did you bring it with you?” asked his father.

“Yes,” he replied.  He dug it out of this backpack and gave it to his father.

His father opened the Bible to John 4 and handed it back to him.  To his utter dismay he saw a cheque for $100.00 taped to the page.

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At the Electronic Fortune Cookie and Cookie Crumbles we really enjoy Christmas.  This is a special time for family and friends to celebrate love and life.  For many of us, it is also a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus.  For others there are other special religious or community events such as Hanukka or Kwanzaa.  Regardless of your beliefs, we’d like to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukka, Happy Kwanzaa and/or Happy Holidays.

We wish that you will experience peace and joy in the coming year and that you will be blessed with health and propserity.

Farmer Bill was out checking fences when he saw a city slicker hunting on the crown land next to his farm.  As he watched, the hunter raised his shotgun and a shot rang out — “BANG!”

Seconds later, a duck fell to the ground about 10 feet inside Farmer Bill’s fence.  He figured he should check this out so he hopped back on the tractor and motored his way over.  As he pulled up the hunter was just climbing the fence.

“Howdy,” Farmer Bill called out as he stopped the tractor.  “I guess y’all can’t read very good.”

“What do you mean?” asked the hunter looking up in surprise.

“Well, I know that Trespassing is a pretty big word but No Hunting should be easy enough,” he replied as he pointed to the signs on the fence.

“Oh!” said the hunter.  “I’m not really trespassing.  I was hunting on the other side of the fence and my bird fell here so I’m just retrieving it.”

“It’s still trespassing,” said Farmer Bill.  “I reckon that bird is mine since it’s on my private property.”

The hunter started to get upset at this point.  “Now you listen to me you country bumpkin!  I’m Charles P. Worthington, and I’m a lawyer from the Toronto.  If you don’t let me retrieve my duck I’ll have you in court so fast …”

“Whoa there,” Farmer Bill interrupted.  “That ain’t the way we settle these little things out here.  No sir, we trade kicks.”

“What do you mean by that?” Charles asked.

“Well, when 2 people have a difference of legal opinion they take turns.  The first gets to kick the other 3 times.  Then the second gets to kick the first 3 times.  We keep on doing that until one gives up.”

Charles looked Farmer Bill up and down as he thought it over.  Now, Farmer Bill was not a big man and it was quite obvious that he was in his 80’s, so the lawyer figured that he could handle that.  “You’re on,” he said.  “Who goes first.”

“Well, since you’re the alleged trespasser then you’re the defense and I’m the prosecution.  The prosecution always goes first, right?”

“I guess so,” Charles replied.

Farmer Bill climbed slowly down from the tractor and walked over to the smug lawyer.  “Well Chuck, do you give up?”

“No way,” said Charles.

Now, there were two things that Charles P. Worthington had not factored into his assessment of Farmer Bill.  First, despite his obvious age, Farmer Bill had been working hard in the fields for over 70 years and was much stronger than he appeared.  Secondly, he hadn’t noticed that Farmer Bill was wearing cowboy boots.  When Farmer Bill’s right boot connected with his left knee, Charles crumbled to his knees in pain.

“How about now, Chuck?  Do you give up?” asked Farmer Bill.

Through gritted teeth Charles said “No!”

Farmer Bill planted a solid left boot into Charles’ right thigh causing an excruciating charley horse.  “Do you give up Chuck?” Farmer Bill asked with a smile.

“Never!” yelled Chuck defiantly.  “Bring it on old man!”

I’m sure you have a pretty good idea of where the next kick landed.   Charles fell to the ground, wracked with pain.  But he knew that he had to get up.  He couldn’t let this old country hick win!  He got his breath back and slowly stood up as Farmer Bill stood there, smiling.

“I’m gonna kick that smile off of your face,” Charles growled.  “You’ve taken on more than you can handle this time!”

“It’s okay Chuck,” said Farmer Bill.  “I give up — the duck is yours.”

In searching the web we often stumble upon a wonderful article and I just wanted to share one that I found at the “Snooty Primadonna” blog.  If you have boys, have ever been a boy or even know a boy, you’ll enjoy this post.

As Bill Cosby once said, “Those of you with children, and those without, you’ll understand”.

http://snootyprimadona.blogspot.com/2008/12/why-boys-need-parents-side-track.html

I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did!

Marty, Sam and Bobby were sitting on the front porch at the Buena Vista Acres Retirement Apartments watching the sun set after another wonderful afternoon of golf.

As the sun was sinking Marty was complaining a little about the weather they had experienced during their round of golf.  “It was windy today, wasn’t it fellas?”

Sam thought for a second and then replied, “No, I do believe it’s Thursday.”

“Me too,” said Bobby.  “I could go for a beer.”

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